Heard at the Funeral

So, are you available in March? I'm getting married.
Your father was a good man. Where would you like the urn?
As usual, it's the pitching staff.

Do you have a pen that works? Mine quit.
They always play this. 
What are y'all doing after the service?

Bow your heads please.
When we choose to love deeply, we also choose to grieve deeply.
He was cute, but I'm not ready for all that shit again.

That was some obituary.
I don't know how you do it. God must think you can do it.
What is in that fucking Jello?

Just can't believe it. Can. Not. Believe. It.
Have you seen Orange Is the New Black?
Totally worth it.

I hope people say nice things about me.
You make a killer guacomole.
Thanks.

Originally published in Plainsongs, Summer 2022.